I am not a good
mother
mother
My name is Alisha Leigh (pseudonym). I am an everyday mom trying to live up to my own expectations
by doing what I can to help our children. I’ve thought about how I might best accomplish this and decided
an “Open Letter” might be one answer. With a flick of your mouse, you can help also – and it won’t cost
you anything more than the time it takes you to send an e-mail. Your child or immediate family may not
need help but your neighbor’s child, your niece/nephew, your grandchild, your friend’s family or the child
living in another city or country might. Whether the child has asthma, allergies, must use crutches to walk,
has a neurological disorder, emotional problems, diabetes, is out of control, needs health insurance --
whatever, there's important information in this letter. So whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, bachelor,
teacher, truck driver, doctor, clerk, counselor, lawyer, clergy, Senator, librarian -- no matter what your
station in life, I ask that you forward this letter to your friends and family. It might also prove beneficial to
forward it to your local newspaper, television stations, State Representative, Senator, and/or Governor.
There are things in this document that could help many, many children if parents, caregivers and teachers
just knew where to start. Click here to e-mail your government representative.
If perhaps you’re feeling this doesn’t effect you because you have no children or your child(ren) is okay,
you might want to rethink your position. Sorry – but this is a fix-it-now or pay later deal and if you live in
the United States you either pay taxes directly or indirectly. Click to see just one example.
I’m not a medical doctor, psychologist, lawyer or other expert – I'm a mom who struggles to help my
ADHD/ADD child. In this regard, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time searching for answers – only
part of which you’ll find referenced in this letter. It’s my hope that by sharing this information it will raise
public awareness as well as be instrumental in lending a helping hand toward finding “a place to start.”
There's something here for everybody.
There's a lot of information below. I'd suggest you pause here for just a moment and scroll down the page
to get an overview. Don't let it overwhelm you.
In particular, the information contained herein pertains to children that have a medical problem, emotional
problem, developmental delays, ADHD and/or other neurological disorder. It can help guide you to getting
the school district to "listen to me!" The information regarding Federal law is of course applicable
throughout the United States. My family lives in Texas, therefore, some information pertains to Texas
residents only, however, a review of these sites may give you a direction to go in using keyword search
functions to track down similar regulations or programs in your state. My child has ADHD, therefore, I
have concentrated my research on this disorder and you’ll see that reflected. However, if you follow the
links below and on the library page, you’ll find direction to information on various learning disabilities,
bipolar, dyslexia, Tourettes, ODD, etc., and who to turn to for help.
Do You Know?
~~Step One – Rule Out a Medical Problem~~
Something’s not right with your child – what do you do? First, take the child to the pediatrician for athorough check-up. And insist upon a thorough exam. That means blood work to check for vitamin
deficiencies, check for sugar diabetes, perhaps an MRI, etc. Talk to your doctor. If your gut’s still telling
you there’s a problem and the doctor is insinuating it’s a “parental problem,” move-on --you’re wasting
valuable time.
If your child needs medical care or prescriptions administered while at school, a School Health Team may
be needed.
~~Learning Disabilities~~
~~Testing and Evaluations~~
If your child is having problems in school with academics or behavior, the school district is required by law to evaluate the child. The parent, teacher, school counselor, assistant principal, or principal can refer the
child if there is a suspected problem. The evaluation(s) are conducted by the school district at no charge to
the parent(s). Children need specialized services or placement for success in school depending in part on
learning difficulties, behavioral and emotional difficulties, medical disorders and school programs,
handicaps, and related issues. Also, see "Dealing with the School District: Do You Know Your Rights?"
section on this site for additional information. If you prefer and/or need input from other professionals or
entities:
~~Dealing With the School District: Do You Know Your Rights?~~
There are many truly dedicated teachers, principals, school counselors and other school district
representatives and officials -- I know, I've met some of them. But there are some that have been
misinformed, haven't been properly trained to recognize problems, and/or may be under pressure from
"management" to look the other way when they suspect a child needs to be referred for evaluation. When
your child's not getting the help s/he needs in school, what's a parent to do? Educate yourself, make a
plan, then implement it.
In my opinion, there are several reasons children do not receive the attention at school to which they are
entitled -- some of which are listed above. Unfortunately, many times it is solely a question of school
district budget, i. e., money. Somebody's child will be sacrificed. Will it be yours?
~~Teachers and School Counselors -- Don't Let the School District
"Lead You Down the Garden Path"~~
~~The Reality of ADHD~~
Maybe you’re an expert on ADD/ADHD and you have all the symptoms and terminology down pat. But do you “really” know what it’s like to have this disorder? Do you “really” know how this disorder affects
families?
by doing what I can to help our children. I’ve thought about how I might best accomplish this and decided
an “Open Letter” might be one answer. With a flick of your mouse, you can help also – and it won’t cost
you anything more than the time it takes you to send an e-mail. Your child or immediate family may not
need help but your neighbor’s child, your niece/nephew, your grandchild, your friend’s family or the child
living in another city or country might. Whether the child has asthma, allergies, must use crutches to walk,
has a neurological disorder, emotional problems, diabetes, is out of control, needs health insurance --
whatever, there's important information in this letter. So whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, bachelor,
teacher, truck driver, doctor, clerk, counselor, lawyer, clergy, Senator, librarian -- no matter what your
station in life, I ask that you forward this letter to your friends and family. It might also prove beneficial to
forward it to your local newspaper, television stations, State Representative, Senator, and/or Governor.
There are things in this document that could help many, many children if parents, caregivers and teachers
just knew where to start. Click here to e-mail your government representative.
If perhaps you’re feeling this doesn’t effect you because you have no children or your child(ren) is okay,
you might want to rethink your position. Sorry – but this is a fix-it-now or pay later deal and if you live in
the United States you either pay taxes directly or indirectly. Click to see just one example.
I’m not a medical doctor, psychologist, lawyer or other expert – I'm a mom who struggles to help my
ADHD/ADD child. In this regard, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time searching for answers – only
part of which you’ll find referenced in this letter. It’s my hope that by sharing this information it will raise
public awareness as well as be instrumental in lending a helping hand toward finding “a place to start.”
There's something here for everybody.
There's a lot of information below. I'd suggest you pause here for just a moment and scroll down the page
to get an overview. Don't let it overwhelm you.
In particular, the information contained herein pertains to children that have a medical problem, emotional
problem, developmental delays, ADHD and/or other neurological disorder. It can help guide you to getting
the school district to "listen to me!" The information regarding Federal law is of course applicable
throughout the United States. My family lives in Texas, therefore, some information pertains to Texas
residents only, however, a review of these sites may give you a direction to go in using keyword search
functions to track down similar regulations or programs in your state. My child has ADHD, therefore, I
have concentrated my research on this disorder and you’ll see that reflected. However, if you follow the
links below and on the library page, you’ll find direction to information on various learning disabilities,
bipolar, dyslexia, Tourettes, ODD, etc., and who to turn to for help.
- _______________________________________________________________________
Do You Know?
 | There are parents that can't hold a job because they can't find a day care center for a special needs | |
| child? Or because they have too many phone calls at work related to their child, or too many appointments to keep with the doctors and school officials? |
| “Special education” in schools is not just for mentally retarded children? "Special" help is available | |
| for children with all types of disabilities if the child qualifies. |
| ADHD does not present in children the same way? Symptoms can range from mild to extremely | |
| severe. |
| Brain imaging may indicate variances for many disorders? |
| Federal (IDEA, Section 504, ADA) and state laws are in place which mandate schools to evaluate | |
| children at no cost to the parents – but many times children fall through the cracks if the parents or caregiver isn’t knowledgeable of the laws or doesn’t keep good contact records and persistently follow-up with the school district? |
| Your child may be eligible for supplemental income? |
| The earlier the child gets treatment, the better chance of a good outcome? |
| There are many types of learning disabilities? |
| Children with high IQ's fail in school because they have an undetected learning disorder? |
| Learning disorders and neurological disorders many times co-exist? |
| Parents can request via the school district that their child be evaluated -- you don't have to wait for | |
| the teacher or school counselor? There's no cost to the parent. |
| If the parent disagrees with the school evaluation, the parent can request an evaluation be conducted | |
| by a source outside the school district? (IEE) |
| Your child may be eligible for low cost insurance? |
| If you're a teacher, you can be held personally liable for not following an IEP? |
| Child advocates can help you navigate the system(s)? |
| Allergy to a food dye, milk product, or other food can cause your child's behavior to mimic a | |
| neurological disorder? |
| Many adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder are diagnosed after their child(ren) is | |
| determined to have the disorder? |
| Not all people have the "Hyperactivity" part of ADHD? |
| Sometimes people have to give up custody of their children to the state in order to get treatment for | |
| the child? |
| If your child requires more than traditional parenting skills due to being strong-willed, ADHD, ODD, | |
| etc., there are behavior management techniques that can help the parent regain control? |
| There is a difference between a tantrum and a rage? |
- _____________________________________________________________________
~~Step One – Rule Out a Medical Problem~~
Something’s not right with your child – what do you do? First, take the child to the pediatrician for a
deficiencies, check for sugar diabetes, perhaps an MRI, etc. Talk to your doctor. If your gut’s still telling
you there’s a problem and the doctor is insinuating it’s a “parental problem,” move-on --you’re wasting
valuable time.
If your child needs medical care or prescriptions administered while at school, a School Health Team may
be needed.
- _____________________________________________________________________
~~Learning Disabilities~~
| What is a Learning Disability? |
| Learning Disability assessments via psychoeducational testing. |
| Learning Disorder On-Line (Articles-Info). |
| Is your child developing normally? See developmental milestones for children from 3 to 16 years | |
| old. |
| Early warning signs of learning disabilities from Schwablearning. Early warning signs of learning | |
| disabilities from LD On-Line.. |
| National Early Childhood Technical Assistance Center |
| Assistive Technology for Infants & Toddlers |
| Transition from Preschool Services to Kindergarten |
| List to get Help for Children from 0 to 3 years old. |
| State specific information for disability related state organizations. |
| Early Childhood Intervention for Infants and Toddlers. |
| Help for children ages 3 –21 in Federal Law clarified for Texas. |
| Pediatric Neurology. |
- ____________________________________________________________________
~~Testing and Evaluations~~
If your child is having problems in school with academics or behavior, the school district is required by law
child if there is a suspected problem. The evaluation(s) are conducted by the school district at no charge to
the parent(s). Children need specialized services or placement for success in school depending in part on
learning difficulties, behavioral and emotional difficulties, medical disorders and school programs,
handicaps, and related issues. Also, see "Dealing with the School District: Do You Know Your Rights?"
section on this site for additional information. If you prefer and/or need input from other professionals or
entities:
| Children’s Hospitals are typically an excellent evaluation source. Don’t get worried – it doesn’t | |
| require a hospital stay. |
| Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in Children: Diagnosis and Assessment by Russell A. | |
| Barkley, Ph.D. |
| Evaluation Protocol for ADHD |
| There is sometimes confusion regarding the terms "assessment" and "testing." While they are | |
| related, they are not synonymous. |
| Screen for potential early development problems with this checklist. |
| Assessing Children for the Presence of a Disability. |
| You can learn about performance based testing at this site. |
| Functional Behavioral Assessment. |
| Keeping good records about your child is vital. And don't forget to send correspondence via | |
| Certified Mail when dealing with school districts or any other entity for that matter if you will need proof it was received. I've been known to e-mail, then send a fax to alert the recipient to check their e-mail, and also send the document by certified mail. Why? It speeds up communication and I'm creating a paper trail to circumvent the response, "It must have gotten lost in the mail -- we never received it." |
- _________________________________________________________________
~~Dealing With the School District: Do You Know Your Rights?~~
There are many truly dedicated teachers, principals, school counselors and other school district
representatives and officials -- I know, I've met some of them. But there are some that have been
misinformed, haven't been properly trained to recognize problems, and/or may be under pressure from
"management" to look the other way when they suspect a child needs to be referred for evaluation. When
your child's not getting the help s/he needs in school, what's a parent to do? Educate yourself, make a
plan, then implement it.
In my opinion, there are several reasons children do not receive the attention at school to which they are
entitled -- some of which are listed above. Unfortunately, many times it is solely a question of school
district budget, i. e., money. Somebody's child will be sacrificed. Will it be yours?
| Children in the United States with disabilities are entitled to a Free and Appropriate Education. It’s | |
| Federal Law and State Law. |
| Keep in mind when reading this website (ADHD) or any other website pertinent to a specific | |
| disability or disorder (learning disorder, bipolar disorder, depression, pervasive development disorder, etc.), the law applies equally. |
| Click here to familiarize yourself with Federal Laws. |
| One purpose of IDEA is "to ensure that all children with disabilities have available to them a [FAPE] | |
| that emphasizes special education and related services designed to meet their unique needs and prepare them for further education, employment, and independent living." 20 U.S.C. 1400(d)(1) (A). States receiving federal funds under the IDEA are to provide a FAPE "to all children with disabilities residing in the State between the ages of 3 and 21." 1412(a)(1)(A).[emphasis added] |
| An Individual Education Plan (IEP) is not a cookie-cutter document. It is not the action of | |
| transferring a student from one pre-designed education curriculum to another. An "appropriate" IEP has been defined by the United States Supreme Court as one that is "individualized," "tailored," "personalized," and "specially designed" to meet the "unique needs" of the individual child who is the subject of the educational plan and at no cost to the parent. |
| Transportation is one of many "related services." Also, see OSEP letter on transportation. |
| Schools must dispense medications to ADHD and other disabled students. |
| Public schools can not require students to take medication. Specifically, "...school personnel cannot | |
| require parents to obtain a prescription for medication for a child as a condition of attending school, receiving an evaluation to determine if a child is eligible for special education services, or receiving special education and related services...." See Prohibition on Mandatory Medication (§ 300.174) |
| Don't assume your school district is in compliance with the law. See Special Education Study and | |
| reports on IDEA compliance. |
| Click here to read about this outrage: School Board Attorneys Plot to Destroy Parent Advocacy. |
| Do some school districts retaliate against the parents and/or child for pursuing legal rights? | |
| Absolutely. Click here to read about it. |
| Basic Differences between Section 504 and IDEA . Also, see US Dept. of Education, Office of | |
| Civil Rights comments and side-by-side comparison. |
| Special Education in Plain Language. Parent's Guide published by the US Dept. of Education. |
| Special Ed 101 -- On-line Questions and Answers. |
| Your state has laws governing special education also. Click here to locate your state education | |
| agency. |
| Texas Education Agency – see Title 19, Part 2, Chapter 89 and 101 for special education | |
| information. State law parallels IDEA. State laws must meet the minimum requirements of Federal law. |
| U. S. Department of Education website. |
| Office of Special Education Programs website. |
| Use Section 504 even if your child has an IEP? Click here for guidance. |
| Some classroom accommodations available for the special needs child. |
| If you don't read anything else read "Keep a Journal." It doesn't have to be fancy -- a three ring | |
| binder with loose-leaf paper will work. |
| Don't be intimidated by the school officials: Learn how to recognize gatekeepers and why schools | |
| develop one-size-fits-all (OSFA) programs. The Special Education Survival Guide by Pam & Pete Wright: Learn "10 Reasons Why Schools Say No!" Check out From Emotions to Advocacy. |
| How [many] principals view students with learning disabilities. |
| What do I do when a teacher says my child needs meds? |
| Referral for Full and Individual Initial Evaluation. |
| Can't get started writing that letter to the school district requesting a Full and Initial Evaluation? | |
| Click here for a sample. |
| Time-Line for all school notices in Texas. Every state has them. |
| Learning Problems at School: Whose FAULT Is It? |
| Every teacher that comes into contact with an IEP student should have the proper training. More | |
| specifically, IDEA, Section 300.323(d) requires that each regular teacher, special education teacher, related services provider, and any other service provider who is responsible for the implementation of a child’s IEP, is informed of his or her specific responsibilities related to implementing the child’s IEP and the specific accommodations, modifications, and supports that must be provided for the child in accordance with the child’s IEP. |
| The definition of highly qualified special education teachers and highly qualified teachers can be | |
| found in the IDEA 2004 Federal Registry. |
| State education laws for disability students aka special populations, must adhere to Federal IDEA | |
| regulations in order to receive federal funding. The Federal regulations set the minimum requirements. One example is Texas' side-by-side Special Education Rules and Regulations. |
| You've followed all the protocol, all the procedures and the school district continues to ignore your | |
| child's needs? Get leads on finding an advocate or attorney at COPAA, |
| Another potential resource for finding an advocate or attorney is wrightslaw's Yellow Pages for Kids. |
| Guidelines for choosing a special education attorney from COPAA. |
| Guidelines for choosing an advocate from COPAA. |
| "Invisible Disabilities" in the Educational System, by Margi Nowak, Ph.D. |
| If you have a question for U. S. Department of Education, you can submit it on-line. |
| Most schools and school districts are on-line. Get the e-mail address for the teacher, principal, or | |
| special education coordinator to speed up the communication process. |
| OSEP State Monitoring Reports |
| There are a lot of sophisticated definitions for Compensatory Education. However, the long and | |
| short of it is that school districts are responsible for teaching students with disabilities. When they don't, they are obligated to provide additional education via "compensation." There are various ways a school district can provide compensatory education depending on the circumstances. One example could be the pull-out classes the school district put your son or daughter in after s/he failed the state accountability testing. Though a rarity because it is extreme, another example is cited in Kevin T. v. Elmhurst Comm. School District No. 205. |
| A guide to the terminology: Acronyms and Dictionary of Special Education . |
- ___________________________________________________________________
~~Teachers and School Counselors -- Don't Let the School District
"Lead You Down the Garden Path"~~
| Read about: Teacher's rights. |
| "You never can tell what type of impact you may make on another’s life by your actions or lack | |
| thereof. Consider this fact in your venture through life. Please think before you act. Things are not always as they appear to be." |
| Is your school district out of compliance -- you can be held personally liable. Failure of staff to | |
| implement the IEP as written could lead to legal liability for those staff. |
| How Can Teachers Complain Without Facing Punishment? Also see Fighting the Good Fight: How | |
| to Advocate for Your Students Without Losing Your Job |
| More Information for the Educators. |
| Teaching Students to Self-Manage Their Behavior. Click here then on FAPE-20. |
| Teaching techniques for learning disabled students.. |
| Where do you begin and what can you do? |
| ADD and ADHD: An Overview for School Counselors. |
| Neuroscience Transforms Classrooms |
| Students Who Learn Differently. |
| Classroom Tips for Teachers |
- And for all you dedicated educators -- bless you, you do make a difference!
- ___________________________________________________________________
~~The Reality of ADHD~~
Maybe you’re an expert on ADD/ADHD and you have all the symptoms and terminology down pat. But do
families?
| My Child Has An Imaginary Disorder by Krista Jensen-Short. This article could have been written | |
| by thousands of parents. |
| Does ADHD really exist? |
| Experience ADHD. How well did you do? |
| Attention Control Systems |
| Dr. Edward M. Hallowell – excerpt from Driven to Distraction. |
| How are We Different? How Different are We? by Bob Saey. |
| Lynn Harris: Things I Know. |
| Real life ADHD stories. |
| The many faces of ADHD. Click here for new perspectives weekly. |
| Dr. Russell Barkley on Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD/ADD). |
| What's it like to be ADHD? from earthlink.net. |
| ADHD Simulations by Pediatric Neurology. Simulations of dyslexia, dysgraphia, tics or | |
| compulsions are also exhibited on this link. |
| < |